Here it is, enjoy it:
Dear Mr. Johnson,
I take this opportunity to congratulate you for your excellent article titled "Basque Inquisition: How do you say shepherd in Euskera?".
The editorial staff at the Wall Street Journal must be so proud to count with such an intelligent, well informed and witty reporter like you.
It was about time to put those Basques in the place were they all belong, watching over a herd of something, be it pigs, donkeys, cows, whatever, who cares, their basic intellects fit perfectly with their cavemen-era language and shepherding is the only activity that they should be allowed to perform. Your article will finally make them understand that they do no belong in this world.
Even more, I like your brave posture regarding the languages that modern people should speak, besides the Spanish that you mention (how else could we interact with the janitors and the groundskeepers slaving away in our transnational megacorporations) the only languages that should be allowed in this high tech world are English, French, Russian and Japanese. All the other ones should disappear along with that Euskara non sense. I think you should take it a step forward and call for all the books written in Euskara and other dialects to be burn in huge bonfires in front of the city halls of all the cities of the world. Who needs dialects like Mayan, Hebrew or Tagalog when we can all communicate perfectly in English?
The Basques must understand that the day that they decided to be part of Spain and France a compromise to learn real languages was included in the deal, I mean, they begged to be French and Spanish for so long, why then this useless obsession with speaking a language that only cows, sheep and donkeys understand?
Plus, we have to remember the warning given to the free world by the great human rights champion and liberator of the Iraqi people, José María Aznar, who constantly reminded us that every single Euskera speaking person is a potential terrorist. Why else would he help making the world safer by clamping down on the Ikastolak (the Basque language school system) and shutting down evil media outlets like Egunkaria and Euskal Irratia?
We need to take our fight against terrorism one step further, why don't you contact your congressman in order to get the USA to donate the money needed to build walls around the Basque towns were people still speak their barbaric and violent Euskera language? We can not afford for them to switch back from wielding grammar to wielding guns. A wall is working for the USA and for Israel, why not for Spain and France?
I specially liked the part where you tell the Basques that they are so stupid that 2,000 years ago they did not come up with Euskera words for airport, computer, fiber optic, quantum physics, television and space station; I mean, they did not have those back then?
This lack of words in their vocabulary indicates just how inferior Basques are when compared to their Spanish and French counterparts. That explains why the Spaniards have been trying to erase them from the face of the earth like they did with those tribes in America called Aztecs and Incas. If the Spanish were not so obedient of the international laws that bestow rights to the Basques and other üntermenschen Madrid could have solved this problem a long time ago.
So Keith, I hope you can accept my invitation to a nice bullfight in Madrid so we can share together the amazing and progressive Spanish culture, then we could go to the subway and kick a Latin American teenage girl on the head, later we could take part in a paramilitary parade organized by the Ermua's Forum and the Falange Youth, finally we could cap it up by taking flowers to the Valle de los Caídos to honor Francisco Franco and thank Adolph Hitler and Benito Mussolini for ushering a new age of light and brotherhood in Spain.
Yours Truly.
~ ~ ~
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